Why obsession is unhealthy

Sometimes, insecure attachment keeps a person in an abusive relationship because they fear loss. In other cases, it may cause a person to become abusive in a desperate attempt to keep a partner. Some people are so afraid of abandonment that they develop obsessive tendencies. This may stem from an attachment disorder or emerge after a trauma. For example, a person whose spouse died may be terrified of losing their current partner.

This can increase their risk of becoming obsessed with their relationship. For example, a person with depression may believe that they are unworthy and alone, or that the only worthwhile aspect of their life is their relationship. This can cause obsessive feelings or behavior. Learn more about the different types of personality disorder here.

Some social and cultural norms demand more of one partner than the other. This could mean that some parents and caregivers expose their children to these unhealthful relationship styles during their upbringing. The symptoms of obsessive love vary depending on the reason for the obsession. For instance, a person with a delusional disorder may experience altered reality or demonstrate unusual behavior, while a person with depression may have low self-esteem or experience suicidal thoughts.

There are no specific diagnostic criteria for obsessive love. They may also recommend psychological or medical testing to rule out other causes, especially if the person demonstrates delusional behavior.

Treatment for obsessive love focuses on identifying the cause of the obsessive thoughts and feelings, then treating that cause. For example, a person with schizophrenia may need medication to control delusions and negative thoughts. Treatments for delusional disorders tend to involve medication as well as psychosocial psychiatric interventions, such as family therapy or helping the individual replace negative delusions with positive thinking patterns.

For most people, therapy is key in managing obsessive feelings and developing healthier relationships. A therapist can often help with untangling a history of trauma, managing underlying conditions, and establishing more healthful relationship norms.

In the early stages of treatment, individual therapy is best, especially if the relationship is abusive. If each person in the relationship is able to establish better boundaries individually, couples counseling may then help them work together and move past the obsessive love.

Some people wonder how long it takes to overcome obsessive love. However, there is no set time. It is a psychological and very individual experience that depends on many things, from the level of the obsessive love to the underlying condition that could be causing it. If the above strategies do not work, there may be a more serious underlying issue, and seeing a mental health professional may be a good idea.

Also, people with obsessive love may not see their behavior as problematic. They might instead view the object of their affection as insufficiently loving or loyal, believing them to be the problem. This can mean that the person experiencing feelings of obsessive love may find it difficult to seek treatment.

People who struggle to let go of relationships or who feel very insecure in a relationship should consider the possibility that their love is obsessive and try to seek treatment. Obsessive love may be a sign of a serious mental health condition, and if it goes untreated, it can destroy friendships and relationships.

It could also lead to other serious mental health concerns. If obsessive love causes someone to pursue a relationship with someone who is not interested, it could even lead to legal difficulties or violence. It is possible to treat the mental health conditions and other causes that can lead to obsessive love, especially with adequate support. However, this is only possible if the person with feelings of obsessive love feels able to seek help and support. Codependents typically obsess about people for whom they love and care.

None of this helps but only causes more chaos and conflict. Our obsessions may also be pleasurable, such as fantasies about romance, sex, or power.

Some codependents are consumed by obsessive love. They might call their loved one many times a day, demand attention and responses, and feel easily hurt, rejected, or abandoned. It usually pushes the other person away.

Real love accepts the other person and respects their needs. A great many codependents are unable to identify their feelings. They may be able to name them, but not feel them. This inability to tolerate painful emotions is another reason why codependents tend to obsess. Obsession serves the function of protecting us from painful feelings.

Thus, it can be looked at as a defense to pain. As uncomfortable as an obsession can be, it keeps at bay underlying emotions, such as grief, loneliness, anger, emptiness, shame and fear. It may be the fear of rejection or the fear of losing a loved one to a drug addiction.

Often certain feelings are shame-bound because they were shamed in childhood. When they arise in adulthood, we might obsess instead. If sadness was shamed, we might obsess about a romantic interest to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness or rejection. Yet, we can also obsess about a small problem to avoid facing a larger one. A perfectionist might obsess about a minor flaw in his or her appearance, but not acknowledge feelings of inferiority or unloveability. If our obsession helps us avoid taking action, we can get support to face our fears and act.

False memory OCD isn't a formal diagnosis but a subtype of the disorder. Here's how it manifests and how you can manage it. So if they call at the last minute, you feel guilty because you ' re going out with your friends or you ' re constantly thinking about their happiness. This may sound like something a " good " S. I think it ' s important to remember that you can ' t be the only one for them, that they still have to have other friends and activities, and they can ' t be the only person for you either.

Realizing you have an unhealthy relationship or crush can be devastating. If you ' re in need of some coping advice, click HERE to learn how to handle feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Follow us. Yes I am 13 years old or older. By subscribing, you agree to Sweety High's Privacy Policy. Your stomach is full of butterflies when you see your crush in the halls, you practice your best cursive while looping their name with yours, you think about them day and night and tape pictures of their face all over your walls— Wait.

Beginning to suspect that your crush is turning into, well, an obsession? Using the Crush to Avoid Personal Insecurities Terri tells us that we tend to turn obsessive with a crush when we ' re feeling self-conscious.

The Honeymoon Phase Doesn ' t Fade Out As we noted at the beginning of this post, almost every instance of love begins with obsession. You Consistently Bail On Your Friends " I think one of the most common and easy-to-see signs is that your friendships are suffering, " Terri said. You Accept Last Minute Invites Every once in a while, this is fine to do, as spontaneity can be a great thing—but eventually last minute invites are indicative of something else.

You ' re Constantly Obsessing Over Their Happiness While many of these warning signs affect your other personal relationships, this sign points inward.